She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
