Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
