He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
