Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
