He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
