when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
