Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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