Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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