THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
