the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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