I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
