There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize