i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
