I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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