Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
