....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
