im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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