theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
