they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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