note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
