East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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