Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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