she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
