My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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