why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize