is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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