if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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