you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
