he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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