dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize