could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
