Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
