Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
