sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize