dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich