I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Boobs speak an international language.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week