just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
