that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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