Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
well you can't waste a boner
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
