Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
