I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
3pm strippers are depressing
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
