You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
