$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
