But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
