Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
