I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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