Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well you can't waste a boner
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
