your parents love me but you hate me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
