So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
