There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
