we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize