He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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