Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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