Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize