dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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