Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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