Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he wants to bone in the snuggie
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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