we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
