She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
