Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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