Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
