Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
