I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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