You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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